


Clouds

by LibbyWrites



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: 1D Lyric Wheel Challenge, Angel Liam, Angel Zayn, Fallen Angels, Human Life, M/M, Might add another chapter sometime..., Song Lyrics, heavenly love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8416213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibbyWrites/pseuds/LibbyWrites
Summary: Angels are meant to be a unit with only one objective. They're supposed to spend their eternal lives looking after mankind.
Liam isn't supposed to want to leave Heaven to live a Human life.And Zayn isn't supposed to want him to stay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is an extended version of my entry for the song Clouds on the [1D Lyric Wheel Challenge](http://1dlyricwheel.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. The challenge consists of writing a little fic, including at least three lines from the song they select for each writer. The lines can't be sung or be part of a poem, they have to be either narration or dialogue.
> 
> I wanna thank my beta, [Marea](http://archiveofourown.org/users/marea707/pseuds/marea707), who I'm beginning to think might be an actual angel in disguise. Thank you for putting up with me. 
> 
> PS: I don't own these people.

“They’re just too fascinating, Zayn…” Liam mused, observing intently as a couple argued about an issue so small it would have been hilarious, if it weren’t for the tears in their eyes.

Zayn couldn’t even be bothered to watch the argument. He was petrified. He was hearing Liam finally put into words something Zayn knew had been brewing in his heart for a long time. Liam wanted to be Human. He wanted to leave Heaven, leave the immortal, omnipresent life of an Angel to experience existence as a mortal, as a Human being.

“But Liam…” Zayn begun, not even knowing how to put his own feelings into words. Angels never really need to manifest feelings, right? Yes, occasionally they do feel sadness or joy but it’s always such an ethereal feeling, far, far away from the carnal way Humans show theirs. Tears, screams, kisses, laughter… They spent every moment of their existence in HHeaven watching Humans go through their lives expressing themselves, showing what they felt with their bodies, but angels? It just was never necessary, was it? Angels have one purpose and one purpose only. Watching over mankind doesn’t include wasting time on trivial things like love or hatred.

Still, Zayn wished he knew how to explain to Liam what he was feeling in a way stronger than words. Liam always made him feel so many unexplainable things. In that moment above all others, words were simply not enough for how terrifying the thought of losing Liam was, more terrifying than all the other things he felt combined. It didn’t even make much sense, did it? There was no record in the history of Heaven of a love between two Angels stronger than their love for every Angelic being and for mankind as a whole. They were meant to be a unit, a single minded community of guardians for humanity. That was their purpose, their only motivation. This… thing… Zayn felt for Liam always felt so unconventional, so unnatural. Maybe that’s why he chose to keep it a secret. It didn’t feel dirty or wrong, it was just… Too much. It felt selfish and sad.

“I think I made up my mind, you know?” Liam continued, completely unaware of the pain and fear Zayn was feeling. He just sat there, watching fascinated as the couple of Humans apparently left the argument behind in favor of kissing. He sat there being the most magnificent being Zayn had ever seen, so unaware of what he meant to Zayn. So beautiful, his white wings tucked carefully behind his back, the expanse of his naked body a work of art, his entire presence impossible to ignore.

“Liam, please…” He began again, taking another step towards him, finally gaining his attention. Zayn felt himself weaken under the power of Liam’s curious gaze.

“Please what? I know what you think, Zayn, but… This life we live, eternal, monotone, boring… it’s just… it’s not enough, okay? I wanna live, like, really live, you know? Feel how they feel, experience things, I want to know what it’s like,” Liam explained, and Zayn grew desperate.

He lowered his gaze, focusing his eyes on the beautiful lines of Liam’s collarbones. “How is… this… not enough?” he asked, swallowing the _how am I not enough_? that was sitting on his tongue. That wasn’t the way things worked, right? But Liam’s plan wasn’t how it worked either; in over a thousand years no Angel had wanted to become Human. The process was bloody and painful, it wasn’t worth it just to live a sad, painful, short life on Earth. Who would want that? Liam shouldn’t want to go, and Zayn shouldn’t want him to stay. “We’re looking down on the clouds, we’re taking care of humanity, we have the most important job in the universe…” he pleaded, hoping against hope that Liam’s hard working spirit would speak louder than his natural curiosity.

“But they live, Zayn!” Liam pointed at the couple, at the whole world. “They live, they cry, they love! I want to know what that feels like. I can’t keep watching them, wishing I were one of them. This is not enough for me anymore…”

Zayn bit his lip. He looked away from Liam, he focused on the couple kissing. He entertained the thought, he wondered how that would feel like. He also thought of heartbreak and sadness, of loneliness and death, all those things they were safe from, all those unavoidable things Liam would have to go through if he lived on Earth, the inescapable miseries of Human life. He didn’t want to see Liam far away from him but he also didn’t want to see Liam go through all of that, alone. How could he survive watching Liam grow old and die? “I don’t want you to go…” Zayn whispered, refusing to meet Liam’s eyes. “I don’t want you to suffer. I want you here, with me.” His voice sounded small and pathetic. It was not enough. He knew he was not enough to keep Liam from his desires.

Liam’s strong fingers carefully touched his chin, lifting his face, forcing Zayn to look at him. “Oh, Zayn…” Liam’s voice sounded almost sad, almost. “I’m gonna be okay, I promise. I’m…” he stopped talking, furrowing his brow, looking intently at Zayn. Zayn closed his eyes. Somehow he felt Liam would see right through him, would find his feelings clear as day in the devoted, desperate way he looked at him.

Zayn wished he knew how to cry. How to scream. How to beg. He just took a resigned step back, making Liam’s hand disconnect from his skin. “Someday you’re gonna see the things that I see… You’re gonna wish you never left me…” he knew he was being unfair and petty and selfish, he knew he was going to regret his words, but it hurt too much. He was too sad, too angry.

He didn’t even give Liam a chance to reply. He turned around and walked away, feeling broken. He walked away wishing with all his heart Liam would find a reason not go through with it, even if that reason had nothing to do with him.

Later that night, when the bright stars illuminated Heaven and Zayn’s heart felt a little less broken, he looked for Liam to apologize, to try again, to maybe find new ways of convincing Liam to stay. Instead, he found a pool of blood, two shriveled wings and red stained white feathers all over the place. Liam had torn his wings off. Liam was gone.

 

~~~

 

There was no way Zayn could do his job right after that. He knew he was supposed to observe all of mankind, he knew his eyes were supposed to roam the world, every corner, focused on saving mankind from itself and from the perils of the Enemy. He just couldn’t. His heart was on Earth but it wasn’t full of reverence for the entire human race like it was supposed to be. It was full of pain and love for one soul in particular. For one man, just one. An actual man, a Human man. So Zayn spent his days doing the only thing he could. He spent every second of his time watching Liam.

He found him soon enough. Liam landed on Earth like any other Angel would after tearing off his wings. Naked, at a random location, with two huge scars on his back where the wings used to be. Zayn watched horrified as Liam curled up in a dark alley somewhere in London, behind a dumpster, shivering, in pain. He watched as a door opened, bathing the alley in a dull yellow light. Maybe it was a back entrance to some of the shops in the neighborhood. He saw an older woman walk out and approach Liam, asking him if he was okay. Liam mumbled. Liam trembled, feeling the coldness of the air for the first time against his skin. The woman meant him no harm, she must have felt pity for the stranger, because she helped him get on his feet and took him inside.

Zayn watched as the woman wrapped Liam in a big blanket and asked him questions. Liam knew the answers but he wasn’t supposed to tell, right? He couldn’t say who he was, or where he came from. He only disclosed his name. The woman assumed he must have hit his head while being mugged or something, and lost his memory. Zayn silently thanked whatever force put that woman in Liam’s path. She stopped asking questions, she just found clothes for him and directed him to a bathroom.

Zayn watched as Liam took his first shower. He felt just as fascinated as Liam seemed to be about the whole deal. He could almost feel Liam’s satisfaction as the hot water hit his skin. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Liam’s body, from a body he knew like his own. Angels never felt shame in their nudity, their bodies were nothing but a vessel for their souls. Now Liam was trapped in a functional machine, in a skin that felt and muscles that ached and Zayn observed as Liam discovered his own body, his hands exploring every corner, his face a mix of surprise and fascination. As soon as he finished, he toweled off and he put on the clothes the woman had provided. He looked at himself in the mirror and that was another experience in itself, wasn’t it? There’s no mirrors in Heaven. Liam had never seen his own face, a face Zayn adored. He watched as Liam studied himself in the mirror, his own features, his body clothed for the first time, and Zayn’s heart ached when Liam smiled, satisfied.

He watched as Liam ate his first meal. The woman served him what Humans called Shepherd’s Pie. For a second, Zayn wished he could know what made Liam moan in pleasure as soon as he tasted the food. He laughed. Liam laughed. He watched Liam actually express joy, his face scrunching up, his eyes disappearing, his smile blinding, his laughter intoxicating. It was breathtaking.

Zayn watched as they ate flan for dessert and the woman told Liam about her dead son, showing him the boy’s old room when they were finished. Liam comforted the woman, who confessed she had kept the room exactly the same, but now she wanted Liam to sleep in it, at least until he regained his supposedly gone memory. As soon as the woman said good night and closed the door, he watched as Liam got naked again to get into bed. Liam curled up, laying on his side. His hand reached behind his back and Zayn knew what he was looking for. Liam closed his eyes while his fingers touched the scars. Zayn watched as Liam cried himself to sleep, quiet sobs breaking Zayn’s heart in a million pieces.

After that, he just couldn’t stop. He studied every second of Liam’s life on Earth.

He watched him sleep, all the time; that was maybe his favorite thing to do. Liam’s face looked so peaceful and relaxed… Angels never needed sleep, and it was fascinating, watching Liam progressively getting tired during his day, yawning, rubbing his eyes so adorably it was painful, finally giving in to sleep cozy and cuddly in a warm bed.

Liam tried as many foods as he could, he explored the city, he met people, and Zayn watched.

He watched as Liam made friends in the neighborhood, friends of the woman he was living with, customers of her butcher shop. They seemed to be good people, and Zayn found some solace thinking maybe Liam would be okay if he wasn’t alone, right? Everyone that met Liam was instantly mesmerized by his smile, his kindness, his presence. He was just breathtaking as a Human and it gave Zayn some peace, knowing he would never be alone.

He watched as one of Liam’s friends offered him a job at a local book store so he could help out with some money at the woman’s house. Liam gladly accepted, and he spent his days selling books, and reading them too, avidly. He liked everything, from fiction to dictionaries. He read for days and days until one day he found a book on Angels in the Mythology section of the store. Liam violently shoved the book back on the shelf and he never read anything again.

Zayn watched as that same night, Liam’s friends took him to a bar. Liam looked sad and gladly accepted the beverage he was offered. Zayn knew it was alcoholic. Liam’s face scrunched up in disgust but he drank it all, and then another, and then one more. Zayn watched Liam get drunk for the first time, really drunk, to the point of needing his friends’ help to walk back home. That night, Liam cried again.

Zayn watched as Liam’s curiosity grew bigger and he started exploring the city more and more. His heart ached watching Liam’s fascinated expressions when he found interesting things to investigate. Every person that met him loved him instantly. Of course they did. One day Sonja, the butcher, took him on her car to another country. Liam climbed a tree to get a better view of a lake. Zayn watched as Liam fell. Zayn wished more than ever he could comfort Liam. He watched as Liam’s body hit the ground, his arm trying to cushion the fall, a bone breaking. Liam screamed in pain, he cried and then he passed out. Zayn felt the pain in his own body, even if he didn’t even know what pain felt like.

After he recovered, Liam bought a car to do the traveling himself. Every weekend he would go off and get lost somewhere. Zayn watched as Liam drove and drove endlessly, he watched as he finally got to see all those places he talked about. He watched as Liam looked at mountains and oceans in awe. Zayn watched Liam climb and swim and run and laugh, and he broke down every time because he tried to be happy, he tried so hard… Zayn wanted to just be happy because Liam was living his dream, but he just couldn’t help wanting to be there, taking his hand. Zayn liked to pretend that Liam was looking for him among the stars every time he went to sleep camping somewhere, looking at the open night sky.

Maybe the weirdest thing was when Zayn observed Liam waking up in the middle of the night one time, sweating. He saw it a million times while observing other Humans, but it took him a moment to understand what was happening with Liam. It took him a moment to register the blush high on Liam’s cheeks; it took him a moment to realize the reason Liam kicked his covers off wasn’t because he was too warm, but because he wanted to touch himself. Zayn was never going to be able to explain all the sensations he felt when he saw Liam’s cock awake and wet. Liam closed his eyes, bit his lip and worked his hand slowly, experimenting. Liam’s moans made Zayn’s blood run like fire through his veins. He watched completely transfixed as Liam came a moment later with a whimper. It would’ve felt like intruding, if it wasn’t for how strongly he felt the overwhelming need to be there, to feel Liam’s hot skin against his own, to know what his sweat and his come smelled and tasted like, to lick him clean. Zayn watched as Liam cleaned himself off and went back to sleep, finding some bizarre comfort in the fact that he was never really going to know what was on Liam’s mind when he came like that.

Zayn watched as Liam started going out with his friends more often. He saw him dance, his exquisite body trying to follow the beat, laughing, adorable. He watched as Liam eventually learnt how to move, how to become poetry in motion. He watched as other people watched him, their intentions clear on their faces. One night, his body was flooded with a dark energy he had never felt before as he saw a girl approach Liam, dance all over him, finally stealing a kiss. Liam pulled back in surprise, but two seconds later he gave in. Zayn watched with his fists closed tight as they kissed. He tried to read Liam’s body language, but he felt like he was eavesdropping on a conversation he wasn’t supposed to hear. Still, he watched until the girl began touching Liam’s crotch. Liam gently pushed her away, and after whispering something in her ear, she left him alone, an exasperated expression on her face. Liam was frowning, touching his lips.

Liam kept going out with his friends, and every now and then either boys or girls would kiss him, and every single time ended the same way. Liam pushing them away, his expression more and more somber. Until one night, one boy took him to the bathroom and made Liam come with his mouth while Liam watched him with a frown, far away from that expression of ecstasy Zayn was used to seeing when Liam touched himself. That night, Liam cried himself to sleep again.

Zayn watched as a strangely somber Liam one day decided to call one of the many girls that left him a phone number. He went on a few dates with her, they kissed, and she started calling him her boyfriend. She told all their friends that they were in love, and Zayn should be happy. He really should, Liam was finally getting to experience love like he wanted to, right? Only those blinding smiles from his first days on Earth were less and less common, and every time the girl touched him he always found excuses to leave. Maybe that was normal. What did Zayn know about human relationships after all? Maybe it was just his jealousy talking. Maybe it was that for the first time he was seeing someone occupying the place he wanted to occupy in Liam’s life, a place he wasn’t supposed to want. Jealousy was such a Human feeling. It was ridiculous, and it was making him see things. So he tried hiding his relief when a few months later, Liam broke up with the girl.

After that, Zayn watched as Liam eventually stopped going out with his friends, sometimes even refusing to go out with them when they invited him to do other things, like have lunch, or watch sports. He eventually stopped traveling too, he spent his weekends at home, watching TV in bed, eating the same junk food over and over again. He watched as Liam cried, often, in silence. His heart broke again and again thinking maybe that was because he missed his girlfriend.

He watched Liam get sadder and sadder until one night, two years after becoming Human, Liam started talking, quiet words in between quieter sobs. Zayn thought his heart couldn’t take any more pain, until he heard his own name coming out of Liam’s lips. It was the first time Liam addressed the memories of his life as an Angel before becoming Human, and it was like that. In tears, eyes closed tightly, whispering Zayn’s name. Whispering little words like ‘I miss you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I wish I’d never left’, tiny words that weighed a ton in Zayn’s chest, not letting him breathe, making him feel Liam’s absence more than ever, making him feel the need to be with Liam like an unavoidable force, pulling him down. That need terrified Zayn. It was impossible, it made no sense, it would never work…

Zayn watched as the next day, Liam called one of his friends and asked him to take him to a tattoo parlor. He watched as a very drunk Liam requested a design on his chest, right above his heart. He watched as Liam’s face contorted in pain and his eyes spilled sad tears while the needle pierced his skin, marking it forever with a letter Z.

And then Zayn could watch no more. Without thinking, he reached behind his back and with all the strength he could muster, he dug his fingers into his own flesh and he pulled and pulled and pulled until everything went black.

 

~~~

 

Everything was a blur at first. When Zayn opened his eyes, he was curled up in an open field, surrounded by tall grass, and his entire body was hurting. That was the first thing he learned about being Human. Pain. His back was on fire and his muscles ached and he couldn’t understand how Liam was strong enough to endure the same experience without dying.

It took him long minutes of careful controlled breathing to finally regain control of this new body. Once he felt he could move, he stood up carefully to study his surroundings. He could see a line of trees behind him, a long winding road at his right, and right in front of him sat a house with a barn. He could see horses tied to a fence, and his first instinct was inspecting the animals. While Liam found Humans fascinating, Zayn always loved observing nature and the wonderful masterpieces animals were. There was no time, though. He was still naked, and he needed to figure out where in the world he was.

He approached the house quietly and felt relief when looking through the windows he found it was empty. He walked to the back yard and found a line with clothes hanging out to dry. How tragically poetic was that it took him less than an hour on Earth to commit his first sin? He carefully took underwear, a pair of jeans and a shirt from the line, a pair of boots that laid by the back door and got dressed. After sending a futile prayer of repentance to the sky, he started walking. No time for mirrors and vanity.

The road was long and pretty much deserted, the grass and the backdrop of magnificent mountains the only scenery to be seen for miles. It took an hour of walking before a stranger stopped to help him. The man, a peroxide blonde with a big smile, kindly informed him they were in Ireland. He was a good man, good enough to not question why Zayn looked so lost and disheveled in the middle of nowhere; he only offered him a much needed ride into the nearest town.

Zayn heart beat faster and faster the closest they got to town, fear of never finding Liam gripping his heart, fear of losing him, of Liam giving up on this life he chose. Zayn knew it was going to be complicated, getting to London with no money or clothes or anything at all. He was thankful that he had at least landed pretty close, but it was not enough. When the man, Niall, stopped the car to get gas, Zayn answered the man’s questions before he could utter them. He needed to get to London. He needed to be reunited with the person that meant Heaven and Earth to him. He never imagined the man would be a hopeless romantic. It took him a heartbeat to offer Zayn a ride to London.

The sun had already fallen by the time they approached the bustling city. Niall was one of the good ones, his heart was so pure and he was so intent on getting Zayn to his love that he even bought him new clothes and a couple of much needed meals. Apparently he was in Ireland visiting family before setting off to travel the continent in his car, and Zayn presented him with the perfect adventure.

Niall insisted on spending the night in a hotel, so Zayn could take a shower and get some sleep. Zayn was reluctant, but as soon as the hot water helped his body relax, he felt how truly exhausted he was. In the dark, curled up on his side in the same position he always saw Liam sleeping in, Zayn gave up to the weight of his heart and cried for the first time in a thousand years, terrified and full of anticipation at the same time.

 

~~~

 

It was a good thing, in a way, that Louis and Harry stopped bothering Liam about going out. It was sad, too. Maybe they should’ve insisted a bit more but Liam was stubborn, one of the many things he found out about himself in these past two years. He couldn’t blame them for giving up after the hundredth time Liam refused to leave his room. At least he got to wallow in his own misery alone. No one needed to know.

No one would understand anyways. How do you explain something like that? Even in the unlikely scenario that someone would believe such a crazy story, how do you explain what is feels like? Leaving everything you had because you thought the world was worth more, only to discover it wasn’t? It just… wasn’t.

It took Liam two years to figure out why. Why all the things that felt so new and interesting at first now felt dull and boring. Why most people seemed to enjoy everything around him and Liam just didn’t. It took Liam two years to figure out what he was missing. It wasn’t Heaven. It wasn’t the omnipresence, or the immortality, or his wings, it wasn’t even his freedom or his life as a Heavenly being. He finally figured it out. Which meant nothing, of course. It wasn’t like he could do anything about it.

The worst thing about this human body was that he needed to take care of it, every day. It was depressing, how one of the most exciting things at first now felt like such a nuisance. He used to love trying new dishes, new drinks, sleeping, taking showers… Now he wished he could just skip all those, lock himself up and just… Just wither away once and for all. He knew his life as a Human would be short, but this was ridiculous.

Still, he needed to function and considering even Sonja had given up on him, he supposed he had to take care of himself. It felt like an insurmountable task, but he had to do it, right? Zayn could be watching. He didn’t want to worry him.

He got out of bed, wincing when the movement made his fresh tattoo hurt. He didn’t really bothered getting dressed, he just put on a pair of shoes. The jogger and t-shirt he had been wearing for almost a week would have to do. Sighing, he grabbed money from the box under his bed, and he left Sonja’s house, using the back door. He didn’t even look around. Too many memories, too much regret.

As soon as he turned the corner, he stopped for a second to think what he could buy that required as little effort as possible to cook. He looked around, up the street, down the street, and that’s when he saw him.

Or did he? He was still kinda drunk from the night before. He, well… he had spent the past few months drunk in one way or another, but… He wasn’t drunk enough. He had been, sure. He had been very drunk, or very high before, enough to imagine him. Enough to become a victim of his own mind. He lost count of the amount of times he had imagined Zayn. On the street, walking with him. At the book store, reading with him. At night, in bed, watching over him as he slept.

The thing was all of those times, he imagined Angel Zayn. Beautiful, breathtaking Angel Zayn, his golden skin glistening, his wings fluttering, silently taking care of him, a memory, a mirage that disappeared as soon as Liam blinked. This time, he wasn’t disappearing. He was… He was dressed, he was walking towards him, he was… He was not disappearing.

Liam’s heart started beating so fast he couldn’t breathe. He felt his veins pulsing, hard, making him dizzy, his stomach dancing inside his body, his muscles threatening to stop working. It was impossible. Simply impossible, it was… It couldn’t be real. Why would he… Oh God… Liam stood there, dropping his keys, freezing, watching as Zayn walked. Watching as Zayn lifted his head and finally saw him, finally found him. Watching as Zayn started running, getting closer, and closer, and…

Liam felt like he exploded when their bodies collided. He felt like someone set him on fire when he felt his body being engulfed, wonderfully trapped between two arms and a chest and a heart that beat as hard as his own. He didn’t even see the tears coming, he had no energy to pay attention to that. They flowed freely while his brain tried to process what was happening. He closed his eyes and his body just moved of its own accord. He wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn, he hid his face in the crook of his neck, he inhaled and he filled his lungs with a scent that made him feel really alive for the first time in two years. It was Zayn, it was really Zayn, warm and shaking in his arms, sobbing and mumbling and real and alive, so alive. Liam had a thousand questions running through his head but he couldn’t utter them, not yet. Understanding was not important yet, the only thing that mattered was feeling whole again, clinging to the only thing that really made him happy, the only thing he ever needed, the thing he left behind, the reason why he couldn’t enjoy anything on Earth. At first everything was fun and new and interesting, but soon he started feeling lonely. Ridiculously lonely, painfully lonely, a kind of loneliness that couldn’t be remedied by having friends, not even pretending to love someone else. Because he tried. He did. He tried kissing, he tried dating, he tried, but nothing, no one ever made him feel all those magical things he thought he was going to feel. Nothing made him feel the way Zayn could just looking at him. The same Zayn he left behind, the same Zayn he abandoned.

“I’m sorry…” was the first thing he uttered. He said it before, a million times, crying in the dark, full of regret, but he didn’t know if Zayn had heard him. So he said it, again and again, crushing Zayn to his chest, the guilt and the sadness overwhelming him.

Zayn just shook his head, holding him tighter. “I’m the one that’s sorry…” Zayn whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t follow you sooner,” the confession sounded so sad in Liam’s ears, so honest, so… so insane…

“You idiot, why did you do this?” Liam asked, moving his face away from Zayn’s neck, only to look him in the eye, to study that face he missed more than anything, finding tears in those tired hazel eyes. “You… you were safe in Heaven, you were happy, why…” All of a sudden he really needed to understand. He made a million mistakes and the biggest one had been not trying to understand the love Zayn felt for him, and that what he felt for Zayn was something special, not realizing he was going to lose that forever once he left, not realizing Earth’s wonders would mean nothing if he couldn’t share them with someone he loved. He couldn't make the same mistake again.

That question only made Zayn cry harder. “Oh, Liam…” he whispered, closing some of the distance Liam had created, resting his forehead on Liam’s. “I love you too much, that’s why,” Zayn confessed, his eyes open and honest, like he had nothing to hide. “I love you more than both Heaven and Earth, and I’d rather grow old and die with you than live forever after watching you grow old and die without me.” The words were simple and clear, but they still made Liam’s head spin. Zayn loved him so much he gave up eternal life for him. Just for him, not for the pleasures of Earth, not for anything else. Just for him… It was too much, so much more than he could’ve ever dreamed. He spent night after night in pain, trying to assimilate the fact that he was never going to see Zayn again, trying to understand that his choice and his mistake meant he was going to live and die a miserable life impossibly far away from the only real love he ever knew. But now Zayn was here. He was here, alive, loving him back.

“I love you so much…” Liam whispered through trembling lips and tiny sobs. He moved his hands to cup Zayn’s face, to look into his eyes once again, and then he kissed him. He didn’t consciously think about what he was doing, he just did it, it felt necessary, vital even, it felt right and perfect and… And it felt exactly like it was supposed to, that magical feeling Humans wrote songs and poetry about. He kissed so many lips, he tried and tried once and again to find something even remotely similar to what he felt just being in Zayn’s presence, and he found nothing. At first he thought maybe love was never ever simple, but then… He thought he was broken, he thought he was being punished for leaving Heaven, maybe his curse would be that, never feeling anything again.

And now he was feeling everything. Every single thing he ever dreamed of feeling, pleasure, love, happiness, all encompassed in that kiss, in that single, soft kiss from those lips. It didn’t even matter that he was stealing Zayn’s first kiss, he was giving it away willingly; Liam could feel him melting in his arms, small sounds of satisfaction resounding deep in his throat. “Wow…” Zayn exhaled, smiling, as soon as they stopped to breathe.

Liam smiled too, slowly caressing Zayn’s cheeks with his thumbs. “So this is what living feels like…” he whispered, kissing Zayn’s lips again.


End file.
